‘...and for the destruction of K’haz of the White Sea, demon prince of the lowest hell, ye are granted the boon of the Gods, a gift crafted by all their hands, bestowing their power upon mortal flesh.’
‘Right. Excellent. And this will help save the world?’
‘It is written that they who should wield the boon may be the saviour of the world, or its doom.’
‘Okay, wonderful. Well I’m going to save it, obviously. What does the power do, exactly?’
‘It courses through thy veins, channeling ancient power into the blood of the worthy.’
‘Yeah, okay. But what does it do exactly?’
‘Pardon?’
‘Specifically, what does the power do? How does it save the world?’
‘Uh, that part is a little vague. On everything else the texts are rather verbose but on the matter of the power’s nature it sort of, well, dances around the subject.’
‘Will it reduce carbon emissions? Repair the biosphere? Cleanse pollution?’
‘I don’t know. Probably not. I think the Gods imagined we’d need help with dragons and demons. I don’t think they figured we’d be this fucking stupid to be honest.’
Paddy Dobson
27th March 2021