Austin Cohle and his Mechanical Man wander the western deserts seeking fame and fortune in a land with loose laws and heavy purses. What they find is disappointment.
Days on end without so much as a nickel tossed their way. Weeks meandering from town to town, hoping some saloon will let them water their horses, and hoping some stablehand will have it in his heart to let them sleep in their barn.
Cohle does his best to draw in the crowds with this theatrics, once they’ve set up their Wagon of Wonders. Some stop, take a glance at the Mechanical Man, then stand and listen for a while as Cohle explains the many fantastical functions of the Mechanical Man’s body, and how his severed, human head is kept alive by the stupendous science of physionics. Cohle recounts the tragic circumstances of the Mechanical Man’s first death, and the rapid response of the mad master mechanic, Matthew Melburn, who returned the dead to unlife in the form of the marvellous machine miracle you see before you now.
By this point, any who might have stayed have wandered away, so Cohle begins his story anew, desperate to get a crowd going and keep it there. The Mechanical Man stands and watches, his motors softly humming.
Sometimes people jeer and call him a fraud. Sometimes people throw things at the Mechanical Man. Sometimes they accuse them of unholy communion and drive the Wagon of Wonders out of town.
Sometimes Austin Cohle gets pretty sick and tired of his lacklustre luck and gets himself good and drunk. He laughs too hard at his own wit and gets ornery when people leave the show without sending silver sailing his way. He lashes out with venomous words at women and children. Cows when folk snap back.
People always remark that Cohle would be better off leaving the Mechanical Man out in the desert, selling the wagon and horses, and setting himself up with a real job.
But at the end of each day, Austin Cohle plugs the Mechanical Man back into his cot in the Wagon of Wonders, makes sure he’s snug with a pillow on his head and an old blanket pulled over him, and pats him on the head.
‘We’ll try again tomorrow. Love ya, buddy. Sleep tight.’
Paddy Dobson
21st June 2022